In with the old

Dropped like a piece of trash. You got something new and shiny to play with that is keeping you amused. The problem is when you throw away things soon enough they start to degrade and finally disappear. What will you do then when you finally realise your new shiny toy is not all you thought.

A shiny new iphone keeps you amused and entertained but it breaks easily and never lasts to long before you replace it wih a new model. Your oldest boardgames on the other hand if keep well stand the test of time and will always be there for you in your toughest times ... but not if you throw them out in the trash.

In time you learn that you made a mistake and that your new toy cant be trusted or doesnt have your best interests at heart. Sometimes the degrading process just cant be reversed but somepeople just need to learn the lesson of you dont know what you had until its gone.

How can you treat people with such disrespect and not care. Its a quality that makes people look ugly. Is it only a matter of time before everyone moves on and leaves you behind. Ugly is not a term that discribes physical appearence, everyone was born looking how they do ... skinny/overweight/big nose/small boobs, were all unique and beautiful but ugly discribes peoples personality. Do you need to speak to people in that degrading tone, does it make you feel better about yourself to but others down ?What makes you think your better than anyone else. Your not.

So in with the old ... good old fashioned manners and respect for others. The world revolves around the sun not you. Once in a while think of other people feelings and you might just find holding onto your boardgames was your best idea ever.

Modern Day Fairytales

You could spend a lifetime questioning what goes through peoples heads. That’s like chasing rainbows and coming home empty. Maybe there is no reasoning to peoples actions or maybe there compelled to carry out certain actions.

I still cant understand how it is possible for a person to get in behind 10ft re-inforced walls so quickly. So much so that someone i knew 2years had the ability to temporally ruin my relationship with someone i love unconditionally and come away unscathed.

When you came closer, you saw that the house was made of bread, and the roof was made of cake and the windows of sparkling sugar. Was i mearly a key to the door? Am i still currently a key?

If you strip me, strip it all away, what would you find ? You can take what you want, do what you want but now i know you'll never be in the position to take that from me again.

Because when it all boils down at the end of the day its what you do and say that makes you who you are. Makes you think about, think about it doesn’t it?
Sometimes all it takes is one voice, one action so take what you want. Your actions said it all. You treated me with no respect, you hurt me when you knew what you were doing was wrong. Its my fault i also knew you would and i left myself vunerable. Were you compelled to do it ? Did you mean what you said ? Your comments are yet to be demonstrated. I miss missing you.

A whole month has passed. I have no story to be told, but I've heard one of you. Think of me in the depths of your despair. Making a home, as mine sure won't be shared. Throw yourself through every open door because this key is broken, count your blessings to find what you look for, you reap just what you sow.

Fairy Tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten. Happiness is like those palaces in fairy tales whose gates are guarded by dragons, we must fight in order to conquer it.

I forgive you, but can there ever be a happily ever after.

xoxo
Are you For Serious

You lost me

I am done, smoking gun
We've lost it all, the love is gone
She has won, now it's no fun
We've lost it all, the love is gone

And we had magic
And this is tragic
You couldn't keep your hands to yourself

I feel like our world's been infected
And somehow you left me neglected
We've found our lives been changed
Babe, you lost me

Now I know you're sorry and we were sweet
But you chose lust when you deceived me
And you'll regret it, but it's too late
How can I ever trust you again?

I feel like our world's been infected
Babe, you lost me

xoxo
Are you For Serious

Cryptic ... Not this time ...It's all about

2010

raise money for charity by taking part in a model show ... win the show ... meet loads of amazing new talanted people ... go the monsterball... hang out a window in an abandoned hotel 40ft up wearing a top hat ... get tied up and have a hot blonde point a gun at me ... head to Gran Canaria to carry out an ecological survey ... stand inside a cloud ... trek into a caldera of a volcano ... demonstrate my pole dancing abilities ... do the cover of the Trinty Film Review ... model for icarus' anniversary as an angel ...have a hate page set up about me ... get a degree ... audition for a role in the new meteor tv advert and lose out to some posh git due to my accent... have some unknown person threaten to throw acid in my face ... move to San Francisco ... get offered an internship for a designer department store ... have to move home 2weeks later and turn it down ... go to glendalough with a complete stranger and wear a suit in a woods on my own ... get offered a position on tv3's 'young dump living off mum' and turn it down ... get offered an actress mother for the show ... still turn it down ... get begged to take part in 'take me out' ... turn it down ... turn 21 ... model for illamasqua make up in BT2 grafton street ... go to the monsterball again ... start a scientific thesis ... showed everyone too much in a gaga outfit ... push myself to the limit ... work hard ...

laughed so much it hurt ... cried numerous time for the first time in years ... danced myself skinny ... comfort ate myself fat ... kissed many frogs, none of which turned out to be a prince ... counted the days off i had on one hand ... collapsed out of stress ... diagnosed with suffering from exhaustion ... drank too much ... said things i shouldnt have ... wore things i shouldnt have ... saw the real side of people ... said goodbye to some people and hello to new people ... regretted nothing

What did you do in 2010 ... watch out 2011 i have plans for you ....

Final

Lately its all about the word final. I finally turned 21 and entered into my final year of my university degree. Alot has been going on lately and i have finally got my confidence back.

After a long time i realised i wouldnt be waiting around for someone anymore. Sometimes its necessary to make a decision that doesnt rest easy on your heart but it wouldnt be called a neccessary decision if it wasnt necessary. This is my final decesion on that matter. I know ive made the right decesion because in 5yrs time i will be able to tell myself there was no more i could do. But could you say the same, it is often you dont realise what you have until its long gone.

Final year in university, whats next? I wish i was able to give it all my concentration but i cant. There is no point in spending all ones time concentrating on the future if one doesnt live past tomorrow. Do you need to concentrate on living until tomorrow? Not if everything is handed to you on a plate. Are you 25 and living at home with your parents? If you answered yes then you dont need to concentrate.

It has also finally emerged in my mind recently that there is very few of us left. And by us i mean honest caring people. Did you need to tell that lie ? Did you need to drag me into your lie ? Did you need to try and justify your cheating ?

Can you trust in someone who lies and decieves other people and then tells you about it ? Should that just be can you trust someone ?

Have people finally lost the plot ? Have you finally lost the best thing that ever happened to you ? Is this the final or just the final of round one ?

xoxo
Are you For Serious

Much to do

So at the end of this summer i will be turning 21. A scary thought i know but there isnt much i can do to avoid this event !! But i can avoid the country and thus avoiding any sort of party or gift giving people have planned.

The enormity of the event has really been playing on my mind recently. Not in the aging way but in the "ive so much to do before im 30 way". By 30 i want the dream job, the dream car, the dream nose and to have just purchased the dream plot of land on to which i will build the dream house. Enough money to travel the world on exotic holidays. In a discuission with a friend recently i told them this and they said what about marriage? Marriage i said ? To be honest it wasnt in my plan, not because i didnt want it to be but rather i had totally not even considered there would be an opportunity for me to get married. If i have the dream house, car and job i would be happy right? I want to do it on my own, and i have always been like this. Its a stubborn trait of mine but what if i do it all and stick to my plan and find im wandering around my dream house cleaning and realise im lonely. I dont want to be a male version of a cat lady!!

So now the question is do i alter my plans of what my priorities are before im 30, or do i just leave the marriage priority to be between 30 and 40. Failing to plan is planning to fail! But are life plans completely pointless.

I mean look what has happened to me in the last 6months never mind 10 years. I got a degree, won a modelling contest, did a front cover of a magazine, had my half naked body plastered acrossed notice boards and projected onto the side of buildings, done an ecolgical survey of a valley in gran caneria, had a nasty hate facebook page set up againts me, moved to San Francisco only to come home again, worked my ass off, auditioned for a meteor t.v advert, realised men are bastards. But bastards are good. And found out who my genuine friends are.

Maybe life goals are slighty more realistic. Rules are made to be broken and it my perogative to change my mind. But once i get going there is no stopping me. Bring it on 21

xoxo
Are You For Serious

Hot Mess

I know you fancy yourself as a sexy bitch
It's in the way that you walk
Do you kiss your mother with those expensive lips?
You sure got expensive talk
Well your lavish life might appear delicious
But not particula-larly nutritious

Cause you need it
Don't you baby
No you're nothing without their gazes
They don't love you
They are strangers
Look how far you have come
You're amazing, you're amazing

Well you worked so hard just to shed the shackles of anonymity
Now every one knows ya and they're all talking
But not favourably
If you wipe the Bolivian from the mirror
You just might see things a little clearer

And you wonder why the people can't stop looking
It's exactly what you want us to do
Everybody's at you for their one hot minute
We've all got to pick a bigger piece of you

Baby... You're a hot mess

Sam Sparro LOVE

Are You For Serious
xoxo