Confusion

Some people seem to have it so worked out. Their lives are going so well and they always show a cool calm and collected front. Unfortunatley i do not fit into this catogory, me i am wandering from day to day just doing what needs to be done without any big master plan.

And as for my front, it may be cool and calm on a sober day but add a few units to my circulatory system, which happens quite often, and all sense of shame leaves my body.
There was been the days ive a have cried needlessly in my room infront of 5/6 people, kissed people i really shouldnt have and made a late night call to someones apartment only to make an idiot of myself trying to drunkingly taking off skinny jeans.

Is this normal and others can hide it easier, or are those people who say eat a meal before drinking for soakage right?? I am a firm believer that eating is cheating, why would i want carbs soaking up expensive alcohol before it gets into my bloodstream.

Is this the reason, or is the reason behind this behaviour knowing that alcohol is quite high in calories and so cancelling out a meal makes it ok to have a few drinks. T.V shows like you are what you eat, and the likes really emphasise calorie counting. 2000 a day is healthy but less is necessary to be skinny ??

Why would someone want to be skinny, is it pressure, maybe its just easier to not eat than go to the gym? Is this behavior inhereted, do those cool calm collected people inhert it, are we all bound by genetics.

If it is inherted did i ever stand a chance at being goal focused, hum not likely. But then at least my life is interesting, eventful and dramatic and hey im only young plenty of time for all serious decision making and meal eating in the future right ??